I’d be lying if I said I had any idea I would be standing where I am today, with all that I have good, bad, and ugly. It’s not that the bad or ugly outweigh the good, or vice versa, but this has been quite a ride. Everything that has happened has come as a package deal. I suppose I’d have it no other way. The most important thing of all is that the desire to win has never been greater than it is today, so my current health predicament along with the “chronic” status the doctors have given it does little to diminish my spirit. What does this mean for later today or tomorrow or the future as a whole?

If God were to come down right now and ask me how I felt about life, I’d tell Almighty that I feel good. Sure, there’s shadows that bog my mind and the health issues I face today are daunting, but so much has been accomplished and if not accomplished, experienced. I wouldn’t trade this life for anything else. Everything that has transpired transformed a cowardly child into an indomitable force who pushes groupthinkers to the edge and compels them to discriminate like hell. In recent times I’ve been more forgiving on the groupthinkers, because I can put myself in their shoes and understand why they behave the way they do. Almighty didn’t beat them around as much, and if Almighty had, it would be less likely that they’d cling so tightly to cliques. For them to see a fellow who can hop, skip, and jump all around the world back-slapping, laughing, crying, voicing concerns, and carrying on almost like there are no boundaries is intimidating. I only wish in my travels that they’d have given me just slightly more of a fair shot. Oh well.

Today is not easy, but I have everything I deserve. What I don’t have I may or may not deserve when the time comes, but either way, everything is alright. One of the advantages of settling down later in life is that there aren’t questions about “what if” on the partying and having reckless fun front. Those days were experience and I’m glad they’re behind me. It’s much more enjoyable to wake up at the crack of dawn to get breakfast going for the family and to spend energy playing with the kids and enforcing house rules and guiding and inspiring. To hell with cancer or illness. The goal here is to make affliction deal with me and not the other way around. My current health issues may be the most serious of obstacles I’ve faced yet in this life, but to this man, they pale in comparison to the days when his childhood-self rode his bike aimlessly while fighting back tears because he was thoroughly rejected, ridiculed, and mocked to the ever annoying and pathetic chant of “get over it.” Oh the lousy stretches there have been in this life. Today is so much better, even if mental health in the face of everything can be a drag at times.

A war of attrition is being waged right now, but it’s to the detriment of the invader named Affliction. It thinks I’m behind the eight-ball. But I face reality and say, attrition be damned.